


Small Comforts

by ProPinkist



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I have decided that Gon is cute with literally anyone you write him with, all my feels for Knov, well anyone he likes of course
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 22:59:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6303505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProPinkist/pseuds/ProPinkist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night before the day of the selection, Gon and Knov have a chat, and they help each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Small Comforts

**Author's Note:**

> Write Gon with ALL the dad figures... though in this case, he's more like the dad. Ugh. Knov is a real sweetie; I feel so bad for him. ;w; I wish he had had a chance to talk with someone like this (unless it happens later, in which case I haven't seen yet).
> 
> Hope you enjoy~

“Hey Knov, how are you doing?”

Gon watched as the man in question lifted his eyes to glance up at him. Giving him a weary smile, he spoke quietly.

“Alright, I suppose. …Could be better.”

Gon smiled back sadly, sitting down next to him against the wall. It was the night before the mission took place, and they were all camped out inside the convenient Apartment Complex. He’d been unable to sleep, as much as he knew he needed to, thoughts of his own personal mission running through his mind and keeping him awake. So many different scenarios played out in his head, and he knew the best possible outcome depended on him being able to stay level-headed.

Deep down, though, he doubted he would be able to restrain himself when he came face-to-face with _that_ one again. So much loathing already bubbled inside of him, dying to break free.

_But I can’t lose myself. I have to make it fix things first… then, and only then, can I do whatever I want to it._

Since this had kept him awake, he’d turned his attention to Knov on the other side of the room. The poor man now had insomnia, and Gon felt sorry for him. He had encountered Pitou’s aura inside the mansion during his recon mission, apparently… and this is what it had done to him. Gon couldn’t blame him in the slightest. He had only ever encountered it once, back then… but the sensation still remained in his mind. Its _face_ was still in his mind. Permanently etched into his memories, that horrible, horrible night when all this had started, when everything had gone wrong, when he had _let_ it-

He took a shaky breath, forcing himself to calm down. He didn’t come to Knov just so he could brood more; he did enough of that on his own.

“You can’t sleep?” Knov broke the silence, as if reading his thoughts. The _“either”_ at the end of that sentence went unspoken.

“…No,” Gon finally replied, hugging his knees. “I know I should, but I can’t.”

“Can’t blame you, really.”

They sat in silence for a bit, and Gon eventually reached for Knov’s hand next to him. The older man flinched a little at the touch, but once he realized what it was, he accepted it gingerly.

“I… I’m sorry I can’t help tomorrow.” Knov’s voice sounded strained, and Gon squeezed to comfort him.

“It’s okay, Knov. …We’re all scared, deep down. I know it doesn’t seem like it for some, like Morel or Knuckle, but we are.” He shut his eyes tightly, all those images flooding into his mind again unbidden. “It may not seem like it… but I’m terrified. I’ve just… somehow managed to make myself think I’m not.”

“You’re brave… too brave, especially for children… Y-You shouldn’t have to do this, something so dangerous…” Knov squeezed himself into a tighter ball, his voice breaking. “I know how strong you and Killua are physically, and it may seem like an insult… but I don’t think children should become Hunters. Not just for your bodily safety, but for your minds as well.”

Gon let out a weak laugh, nodding in agreement despite himself. “As fun as this adventure is… there are things about it I hate. Things I just can’t forgive.” He clenched his other hand into a fist. “There are terrible people out there who do terrible things… and although I feel like I have a duty to fix things, to bring them to justice… it’s hard… Hard to watch sometimes. …Nothing in the outside world is as easy and simple as life on Whale Island was.”

All of what he’d said had been true. Sometimes Gon had asked himself if he was happy he had left on this adventure or not. Some things made him want to say yes. Others, no. He was happy that he had found a friend in Killua, and happy that he seemed to make _him_ happy. The same went for Kurapika, who was lost and alone in the middle of his inner turmoil over the Spiders _(in a way, I understand exactly how he feels right about now… how ironic)_. Leorio, he wasn’t sure about, but he thought they motivated him to do better at least. This whole thing had started out as a quest to find Ging, but had somehow just turned into a trip around the world, from one crazy situation to another. If he was being honest, he liked it better that way… Ging was looking less and less likely as time went on.

But it was in this most recent leg of his journey that Gon felt like he had been stretched to his limits. His desire for revenge and a resolution to this situation won out over his instincts… but deep down, he really wanted to do just what Knov was doing. Lock himself away, where it was safe and secure, where nothing could hurt him.

_…But I’m already hurt, is the thing. And_ that’s _why I have to do this._

“How do you stand it?” Knov asked quietly, painfully. “Bottling up your fear isn’t good… but I’m the only one here who succumbed… I feel so guilty. What is it you do, Gon? How are you able to stay so… calm?”

Gon smiled at him sadly, realizing he must not have gotten the full story. “I just… have someone I care deeply for… who is depending on me doing this. It’s for them that I fight… The image of them, happy and safe again, is what drives me.” He paused. “…It’s a selfish reason, but it’s all I’ve got.”

He watched as understanding seemed to dawn on Knov’s face, and he formed an “o” with his mouth. “Of course… You’re talking about that man Knuckle and Shoot recovered from NGL.”

“Yes.” Gon squeezed Knov’s hand again as if to reassure himself. “I haven’t known him for very long… but Kite is actually the reason I am who I am today. I never would have become a Hunter, and done all of this, if it wasn’t for him.” He saw Knov frown a little, but he continued anyway, closing his eyes nostalgically. “I have to thank him, for back then and for a month ago… but even more than that, he just deserves to be saved. Simple as that. …So that’s why I’ll do this.”

“I see… You care about him a lot, don’t you.” Gon sensed that Knov didn’t think him being prompted to become a Hunter was something to be thankful for, but he was gracious enough not to say it. “I can understand that… I care about everyone in this room, after all… I just wish I could move past my fear for their sakes. Like you are.”

In one smooth motion, Gon stood up, turned around, and hugged Knov. The man let out a squeak of surprise at his unexpected gesture, but eventually he slowly returned the hug, his grip weak. The smell of rain, wet earth, and sweat still lingered on him, but Gon didn’t care in the least.

“Knov, stop beating yourself up over this already!” he scolded gently. “What you’ve already done for us is more than enough: you snuck into the palace to place the exits _by yourself! Alone!_ You may not have been meant to fight any Ants, but that’s still so much more dangerous than what we’re doing; even we’re going in a group. You could have easily been ambushed, and probably outnumbered!” Knov started shivering at his words, and Gon quickly realized he was scaring him again. His heart clenched, and he changed gears.

“Your part was probably the most important in the entire plan, Knov. Without your information and portals, there wouldn’t _be_ a plan, really. We’d just go in there not knowing anything about our enemies or how the palace is laid out… which would probably be fatal.”

Knov let out a little whimper, and finally managed to get his voice to work. “…You really think that?” It sounded like he was crying a little.

“I _know_ that.”

Gon pulled away and looked directly into Knov’s gaze, wanting to cry at how haggard he looked and at the little tears in his eyes ~~(It reminded him of someone else, another face that was white and gaunt and sickly)~~.

“I promise, we’ll take down the King and his three guards, and return to you, all of us in one piece!”

_Although…_ I _might not. Or at least, I won’t be able to destroy Pitou right away. …I’m sorry if I end up breaking my promise, Knov._

Knov tried to smile bravely at him, and to his credit, it looked genuine. “…Try to sleep now, or else I’ll worry about you tomorrow even more than I already will. And… thanks.”

Gon nodded happily, standing up from his crouching position. He was making his way back to where his sleeping bag was, when he heard a voice call out to him again.

“…Hey, Gon?”

He turned around again to look at Knov, who gave him the calmest and most reassuring smile he had yet.

“I hope you save him.”


End file.
